Excerpts from the Reception Speech of Jeff’s Poorly Chosen Best Man

*- “…and so began Jeff and I’s overly complex and hilarious trip to score some more meth.  That night we were like the Harold & Kumar of stabbing people at truck-stops.”

*- “I’ll never forget the first time Jeff told me about Suzanne because it was when I was in prison and you don’t forget shit said to you between 8 inches of plexiglass.”

*- “…so this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down.  And I like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you about how once Jeff helped me bury a hooker in the woods.”

*- “Last night I had a dream that Suzanne was butt-naked and covered in gravy. She was running around trying to fuck your dad during a Forth of July parade. I got one of those ‘This is so fucked up I’m turned on’ boners.  Man it was awesome.”

*- “…while Jeff has just developed a severe allergy to both peanuts and fun, by the end of this wedding I plan on being so deep in a vagina that I need a snorkle. I’m not that picky ladies.”

- Rob Norman is a contributing writer to Nonstop Karate

About these ads

About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on June 24, 2010, in Lists and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: