Monthly Archives: September 2010

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

Not the quote you’d expect to see on a blog that writes articles about video games, the Expendables, and why no one will have sex with us, but trust me, it’s relevant.

Raddest baby alive? Raddest baby alive.

Probably just for today.

I recently returned home to see one of my best friends get married. Two years ago, going home wasn’t a huge deal. I’d get onto a plane, read a book, and when I got off the plane I was in a different place, but everyone was pretty much the same. Maybe someone had a new place or a bigger TV, but for the most part my friends and I hung out, played video games, talked shit to each other, ate pizza, got stupid drunk, and were basically rad dudes being awesome together.

These guys are probably just raking it in.

In the past two years something happened. Everyone started growing up on me, getting real jobs with benefits, and in perhaps the greatest betrayal of bro-hymnity, got all married n’ shit.

And she could walk down the aisle to the Halo theme! It's perfect!

If everyone was going to grow up and get married and become adults, then why did I waste all that time writing “ride together, die together, Bad Boys for life” in the back of so many yearbooks and on pieces of broken chairs?*

Shit just got real.

*it’s a tradition in some cultures. Shut up.

We’re not riding together because we all separated. We’re not dying together because everyone decided to go out and mate for life, and it’s hard to be a Bad Boy when you’re looking at tile samples and wearing shirts with buttons on them.

BUTTONS.

So what else was I lied to about?

I’m glad you asked.
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