“King of Fighters” movie is pretty much what you’d expect.

I was never a KoF guy. If I was going to play a fighting game, it would always be a tale of swords and souls or that game where you can materialize a giant laser cannon on your shoulder and vaporize your opponents away.

So I have no emotional investment in this franchise. The King of Fighters movie doesn’t shock me one bit. It’s a film wreck and I expect nothing less.This is all I know about KoF:

This is a character named Mai who has enormous breasts and a million creepy figurines of her in Tokyo. Ise seens ‘em. Also, there might be a character who’s a transvestite. I’m not sure; that happens a lot in fighting games.

They did cast Maggie Q as her, so I’m sure a lot of her scenes prepared her to play Psylocke La Femme Nikita.

This role isn’t fair to the petite Maggie Q. She’s a beautiful woman, but no one can fill the shoes breasts of a videogame character like Mai. The only physically similar person who could’ve played that role is a recurring contestant on [Insert Country]‘s Got Talent.

Dear god. It’s like a 12-year-old boys dirty notebook drawing came to life as an insult to any woman who’s had breast cancer.

Chad Quandt is My Penis is Dead Now Editor of NonstopKarate.

First spotted on Destructoid.