NK has your TSA pat-down covered
Many traveling for the holidays will just now realize that the TSA is rapin’ errbody out there. In the security checkpoint, you can either subject yourself to a full body scan, which creates an image best described as “you as a monster in Silent Hill” or you can go through the pat-down. Many of you have shame and thus this will be a problem.
We’re going to assume you choose the pat-down. It feels slightly less invasive somehow. It’s still pretty messed up considering how little of a threat we have of terrorism attacks there (my guess? The trains are next. THEY GOING FOR THE IRON ROOSTERS).
Here’s a few ways to make your adventure fun for everyone.Wear a strap-on dildo.
Wear a kilt.
Moan very loudly during the pat-down.
Be uncomfortably fat.
Talk about Lord of the Rings fanfiction with your pat-downer.
Tell the TSA agent you have brittle bones like Samuel L Jackson in Unbreakable and can be injured if not handled gently.
Wear ten layers of clothing like you’re setting some sort of World Record.
One blogger protested by wearing see-through underwear.
This was dumb. No one asks you to take your clothes off, so you’re pointing out flaws in a process that doesn’t happen. She videotapes herself up until the checkpoint, which ruins any “undercover” chance she had, and learning what it looks like on the inside of a scanner was more informative. Also, I think you can hear one of the officers saying “I did not give her an ocular pat-down”. OK, someone watches Always Sunny.