Monthly Archives: November 2010

An outsider’s thoughts on the new Green Lantern trailer

The new Green Lantern trailer plopped (I assume that’s lingo) yesterday. You can watch it via Apple here.

I always liked the idea of GL, the idea that a man was only limited by his imagination was story crack for a 13-year old boy. Then Hal always just made fists or a hammer. Never even a buzzsaw or a rabid wolf. So while I’m not the biggest Lantern fan, I at least understand the gist of everything that goes on in this trailer.

Most of America? They’re going to be confused as all F. Read the rest of this entry

Concerning Sidekicks

The sidekick is an interesting phenomenon in literature.

Dude. C'mon. Pants. Jesus.

The sidekick can serve many purposes. Used in the myth of Gilgamesh, Enkidu the beast man serves as a juxtaposition to Gilgamesh. They share the same heroic qualities but they are very different men.

Fun Fact: 2200 years ago, man was four and half feet tall and hairier than all

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Allow me to introduce you to Flyclops

Comic Book science is a wonderful thing. Done well, it’s a moment when a writer acknowledges their own grasp of post-high school education, invents an interesting theory (its like creative brainstorming!) all while simulatenously avoiding the fact that the world they’re working has explained previous events as, “it’s magic. We don’t have to explain shit”.

One brave bastard invented something so revolutionary; Marvel needs to give him a 100-issue run right now.

Flyclops.

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What world is there when a man’s beard is no longer safe?

Comic Book Storytime: Dostoyevsky Comics

Years ago, the Council of High School English Teachers met.

Teacher Dolores: Kids don’t like anything I assign except for Catcher In The Rye. What do we do?

Teacher Eustace: Reinstate the draft.

Teacher Mildred: Impossible. Now that candy sucker Carter is in the White House.

Teacher Dolores: What kids need is something to weasel its way into their skulls and carry the seed of good literature.

Teacher Eustace: Reinstate the draft.

Teacher Mildred: That doesn’t even make sense.

Teacher Dolores: What about comic books? Young Jimmy is always reading a Bazooka Joe issue in class and I just saw that new movie Batman and Robin is a big hit.

Teacher Mildred: Not a bad idea. Wrap the bitter pill in a slice of cheese. It’s how I give my cats their medicine. Quick, too the printing press!

This is what that meeting brings forth: Dostoyevsky Comics. Read on, dear browser. Read the rest of this entry

Profiles in Awesome: Awesomely Frontiersy

Just stay awesome. I WILL BLOG YOU.

Hawkeye from Last of the Mohicans

Who He is: A rugged frontiersman Hawkeye is a white man who was adopted into the Mohican tribe at a very young age. Raised among them, he identifies with the Native American at every level. He is at one in the woods, blending in and disappearing at will. He’s the closest thing humanity has for the equivalent of the Predator.

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Son, I’m going to teleport your wang off.

So let’s say I’m a teleporter. Let’s just establish that right now. I can zip around the world whenever I want, but I write nerd essays every day because I want to keep things “real”.

I just figured out the best possible application of my powers: Jewish bris ceremonies. Read the rest of this entry

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