Screw off “No Shave November”… it’s MOVEMBER!!
“No Shave November” is a celebrated internet and college campus trend during which men don’t shave any part of their body for the entirety of the month of November. Why? It’s a way to seek out and tame the raw, beastly neanderthal that is a part of every man’s blood. To look inward and find out what lies at the very core of a man’s soul. To hire an independent arbitrator to face the nagging demons of responsibility and time, and come to reasonable settlement.
But really, what it boils down to is that there comes a time in every man’s life where he just needs an excuse to look homeless and gross to see if he can grow a God damned beard.
To the zero women that are reading this, it may make little sense to knowingly do something that will make you look like someone who misplaced their bindle on the last rail car out of Cleveland, but please understand that a young man’s progression into adulthood is measured exclusively in body hair milestones:
1) Pubes- This is the big one. And also exact moment in every man’s life where he begins a dark, downward spiral in a world of pornography and….pornography. Also pornography.
2) Arm Pit Hair – Doesn’t seem like a big deal. It is.
3) Eyebrows – Fine. I’ll admit it. My eyebrows were so blonde when I was younger I looked like Powder.
AND FINALLY THE MOST SACRED STEP
4) Facial Hair.
Why are guys obsessed with their own as well as other men’s facial hair? First of all, few of us genuinely look better with it. Which is probably why most of us just get stoked when we see a dude who’s willing to make a go of it. Also, it’s one of the few ways to measure ones manliness without getting into a bar brawl or literally whipping your dick out. Both of which will land you in jail. One of which will bring you one step closer to directing your own version of “Powder.”
But as much I respect and enjoy the idea of “No Shave November” it lacks focus. If you’re going to look ridiculous for month, why not have a cause attached to it? That’s where MOVEMBER steps into your lives gentlemen.
There’s a good chance you have a friend or two already participating in Movember. At the very least, you’ve heard whispers of it from people around you. Maybe you never felt inclined to take the steps to find out exactly WHAT it is. That’s fine. Let me do the leg work for you.
Movember is a world-wide charity dedicated to raising money and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate and testicular cancer in the United States. MoBro’s start the month of November clean shaven and grow a moustache (or mo) throughout the entire month. While doing so, they raise money for prostate and testicular cancer research. How? By organizing teams and events, bugging family, friends, and coworkers (also blog patrons) to donate to a good cause, basically anything to spread the word while being a gentleman and sporting the most coveted of facial hair: the moustache. The movement itself has been in existence since 2003. And has to date raised over 174 million dollars.
But you may be asking yourself, why the fuck do I care? Well gents, let me drop some factoid knowledge on you.
– Prostate cancer is the second-leading cause of cancer death in men
– 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer.
– 48% of testicular cancer cases occur in men between the ages of 20 and 34.
– Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in American males between the ages of 15 and 34.
– 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, 1 in 3 women will be.
Those are pretty staggering when you think about it. And to think you could do some small part to help. I mean, if you’re already not going to be shaving, why not put your extra face follicles to good use? What’s wrong? Are you afraid you’ll look like a creeper sporting a moustache? Don’t worry, because I look like this:
The thing is this, the men of Nonstop Karate care about very few things. But this is one of them. Myself, Chad, and Nick have undertaken the task of sporting the mo for the month of Movember. If you’re feeling especially charitable, you can find each of our respective donation pages here:
Kyle – http://mobro.co/KyleMcVey – Where if you donate $20+ to my Mo, I will write/star/shoot a short comedy sketch on a topic of your choosing and post it online for your enjoyment. If you so wish it.
Nick – http://us.movember.com/mospace/611676/ – Where if you donate $20+ to his Mo, he will perform a song on the ukelele for you and post it online for your enjoyment. If you so wish it.
Chad – http://mobro.co/ChadQ – Where if you donate $20+, he’ll write a poem about your sexual exploits and draw a picture of whatever you request (no sex stuff. OK, some sex stuff).
OR if you feel like heeding the call of Movember, go to www.movember.com to sign up and start doing something good for your fellow man for a change. You louse.
Listen. We all know someone, man or woman, who has been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe it was a friend. A co-worker. A loved one. Heck, maybe it was just an acquaintance. The point is, this is something that effects us all. Maybe it already has. If not, it almost certainly will in your lifetime. So why don’t we have a little fun, look a little stupid, and try to do something about it?