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Rogue’s Gallery: Top 10 Villains From Film and Literature

I guess there isn’t a whole lot of shame in making a list and calling it writing.  It isn’t like I graduated with a degree in English or am in any way qualified or obligated to edify or entertain anyone.  In fact, I think it’s high time I pointed out the fact that our readers come to Non-stop Karate with quite a lot of baggage.  They come here looking for a little insight or cleverness, or even just the odd tit or giggle.  But really, having expectations of quality of any kind is really just going to disappoint all parties involved. Read the rest of this entry

I Will Save Your Franchise pt. 1

Hey dudes and lady-dudes,

Are you excited for the new Batman movie from Nolan and friends? Of course you are. We’re not sure what aspect of Selina Kyle Anne Hathaway’s going to be, especially since all announcements have been very, very, very careful about not calling her Catwoman, but all of that will take shape in the coming months.

This is the bar.

Bane, though? That could be really awesome. The guy is essentially anti-Batman. Take Bruce’s drive, ambition, natural genius, and physical prowess, and strip it of all morality. Apply Batman’s skills, mind, and attitude but to someone with no code except his own. It could be the movie that finally gives us someone who can go head to head with Batman mentally and physically.

I like his intensity.

Note: I wrote this on Tuesday and I had no idea about Chad’s anti-Bane, anti- Nolan tirade. The above is not a response to that.

This part, in the italics is. I have complete and utter faith in this movie for two reasons: 1.) What in Nolan’s track record makes you not excited for this movie? Every movie he’s done, for better or worse, did everything right and well. He’s got a few I’ll probably never buy, but that’s personal taste for the subject matter. I cannot deny that they are well-put together movies. He has pretty much mastered his craft. 2.) the Dark Knight made Batman Begins look like it was shot in someone’s backyard over a long weekend. Now extrapolate what’s going to happen in this one from the Dark Knight. Anyone not excited for this movie is nursing a boner for the Joker which is the dork equivalent of all the rappers and hustler wannabes considering Scarface the end all be all of cinema.

Your move, Batman.

However for every Dark Knight, we get an X-Men 3. For every Spider-Man 2 there’s a Spider-Man 3. Actually, that’s inaccurate, because the breakdown is not one for one. For every X-Men 2 or Iron Man there’s like 12 Wanteds.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though. We can all, actually, collectively try and do better.

Fuck it. Tell Darwyn Cooke he's drawing everything, forever.

That sounds like work, and I know that people on both sides of this issue, nerds and Hollywood executives, are two of the most work-averse people on the planet, but most of this is easy, and is easier if we’re dealing with an established property.

What follows are my proposals to fix a few franchises. These in no way guarantee a movie will be good, a lot of the depends on writing, directing, acting, and since this all sci-fi/fantasy, art direction, but I think you’ll agree, steps toward the proper destination.
Read the rest of this entry

Profiles in Awesome: They’re Mostly Awesome at Night, Mostly

Who She Is: Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley served aboard the Nostromo before she initiated the self-destruct sequence destroying the enormous ship. In her defense, she did it because it was invaded by an outer space bug that wanted to impregnate her and everyone around her with chest babies.


Bring your Daughter to Work Day is really awesome in the future.

When that didn’t work she used the harsh vacuum of space itself by blowing that sumbitch (or is it just bitch?) out the airlock. Read the rest of this entry

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